I feel… sad. I don’t mean the nostalgic kind of sad where I feel that life is passing by. I’m over it. I can’t control time. So back to the main reason why I’m sad. Well you see, I’m a student that studies in the Philippines. I’m not on honors or what, but my grades are good. I have no idea how high my IQ is or how low. I don’t care about those things.
I feel so sad because not everyone sees the world like I do. I believe that not all students with high grades are good. Not everyone with an IQ is “smart”. I feel so sad right now because the standards of society is killing me. I’m being over burdened. I feel so tired and depressed and I wish that I’m not. I feel like I should tell someone about this in this site for them not to feel alone. I hope I’m not alone in this either.
I’m a student with above average grades in my report card. Pretty good, yeah. I don’t put that much effort because I always believe that my efforts are always taken for granted, and it will just be wasted. I want to “live” my life in a good way. I want to make a big good difference in our world. In our home. In this huge universe, this planet is my home. And I want to take care of it better, but society is giving such high standards. Maybe it should give high standards. Maybe I’m just fucking stupid (sorry for swearing). I feel so lazy and stupid and selfish because I want to have fun, but I realize that I can’t. If I want to be selfless and make a good difference in the world then I have to burden myself with everything. I have to be “perfect” because it seems that only “perfect” people can make a difference.
I don’t know why I’m like this, but right now… I feel like such a bad person because I’m not doing anything right, and I’m not giving it my all for our only home.
And no, I’m not moving to Mars. I don’t want to leave this planet because I love this planet and nature. I wish we can save it and bring it back to its pristine condition. I will try my best eventhough it will cause me pain.
I will carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, even if it crushes me.